the objectively best characters in dragon age: inquisition

Varric Tethras

So in the beginning of Dragon Age: Inquisition after everything has gone right proper fucked, Cassandra and Solas are more concerned with shepherding you around to what needs to be immediately done and Varric is more about making a bunch of jokes about how he's still alive.

In any other fantasy work: I hate this character. In Dragon Age, Varric's voice actor and general panache make him immediately the most likable person you meet. He's also likely the first person to encourage the player to kind of just dick-around for most of the Haven chapter and do whatever.

Maybe his backstory hints at a tragic history or maybe it doesn't. Do you know why I don't care: I didn't play Dragon Age 2 or any of the others so if he has a weak backstory or wasn't The Greatest in another game I can only draw a conclusion from this one. This one: He is a Boss, and has a crossbow named after a lost love and gosh that's just so weepy and poetic and he's a Dwarf writer how could you not like him?

Lady Josephine Montilyet

I don't know what it was about Tali in Erect Masses that made me immediately favor her over every other person besides Garrus in the game, but Lady Josephine Montilyet immediately gave me the exact same feeling as soon as I was introduced to her. 

After a mandatory story sequence where she flusters about her families lack of funds and you can basically respond by hitting on her and she's all like "Inquisitor I don't get what you mean" I realize this Lady is probably flustered by everything in her life but to her the Inquisitor is just another dude and then I knew that it had to be True.

Outside of her Romance options I feel like Lady Josephine is the most sane person in the Inquisition in terms of how to respond poltiically. Ever the diplomat, the options you get if you favor her seem to leave you in much more of a neutral and advantageous political position then I dunno having a spy kill a bunch of dudes

Leliana Fromthefirstgame

Hey: I didn't play Dragon Age 1. So far though I've spent a lot of time in Inquisition wishing that Leliana could be in my party instead of like fuckin' I unno Cassandra or something. Leliana is the Dope Spymaster Lady and even though characters like Varric or Lord Blackwall are implied to be troubled characters, Leliana is the only one that comes across directly from meeting her as being spurned on by something dark and trying to turn it good. 

It is, after all, Leliana in the ruined timeline that isn't above sacrificing anything and everything to restore order to the world and make things right. You don't see that from Solas or even anyone else that you take with you. Also she openly threatens you a bunch of time throughout the game and it's just Great. 

If Dragon Age were a 70's weird fantasy movie, Dorian would be played by John Cleese and he would 100% be the exact same character. Dorian is the perfect character in the game to arrive when he does. Right around the time my Inquisitor started to become a little bit too self-important, the game introduces Dorian who's personality seems to be manifest to drag the wind out of the sails of too high-and-mighty players and also the person you have in your party anytime you want to be Extra Charming Rag Tag Heroes